office joys…

I work in an office building. It is kind of a ghetto building and it smells funny when the air conditioner kicks on. But I am not complaining about that. At least there is an air conditioner. I also have my own office…and a hard wall office at that! With a working door and a window. True, my view sucks (I get to look into the offices in the other wing of the building and they are all fat, balding, management type dudes and are not the best thing to be oogling (but that is better than having them oogle you)), but it is better that no view at all. The hallways are dark and dingy. And they echo. It is very cave-like. The best thing about the building is that if you don’t close your door to have a conversation, everyone can hear you in the echo-y hallway. It is nice. Everyone laughed at me for a week when The Girl was potty training and I had to clap and cheer for her over the phone when she was successful. I had to sing the potty song too. Embarrassing.

Fortunately, I am not the only victim.

I heard these beauties today:

“You can’t root around in peoples' garbage without their permission! Especially if they are standing right there”

“Procedure my a$$! I’m gonna shove that procedure so far up their a$$es that they are going to need a procedure on how to remove a procedure from their a$$! And when they go to get that procedure approved, I’m going to reject it and they will have to walk around with that procedure shoved up their a$$ for the rest of their days!! Oh, yeah. Lunch sounds great. Chili’s sound good to you?”

“Do you think the chaps make my butt look too pronounced?”

“You had her spayed? I thought you liked my mother!”

“The doctor says the rash will go away eventually. I guess that means that naked movie nights are out for the next month or so.”


Dang. I liked naked movie nights.